Renamon: The Doctormon of Love!
by Kalming Waters
Summary: Incomplete and will never be finished. Read at your own risk.
1. Default Chapter

Renamon: The Doctormon of Love

King Weregarurumon

Author Notes: Don't be alarmed. I'm just revising these so that I can get back into the groove of writing fan fics. It has been a while and it is amazingly weird to start over from scratch. I can't promise a new chapter anytime soon, but one will come out.

  
A cool breeze rustled the leaves of a tree, the same tree that Ruki and Renamon was resting in. A lone leaf dropped into Renamon's hands, seeming quite small in her gigantic hands. Renamon studied it for a while, and then let it continue its path to the ground. Ruki, who was a branch then Renamon, saw the same leaf come her way. She snorted at it and blew it away, only to have the leaf come back and land in her hair. Ruki angrily plucked the leaf from her hair and tossed it in the air, only to have the leaf smack her full in the cheek. Extremely aggravated, Ruki pulled the leaf from her cheek, rolled it into a ball, then flinging it into the air. The leaf unfurled in the air, and planted itself onto Ruki's forehead. Sighing defeat, Ruki turned her attention toward Renamon.

"Renamon, let's go," Ruki commanded. Renamon moved from her spot in the tree and leaped gracefully onto the sidewalk. She walked on, until she heard Ruki's voice again. "Renamon?" Ruki asked.

"Yes Ruki?" Renamon in turn asked Ruki.

"Help me down."

Renamon looked at her partner and saw that she was still in the tree. Renamon helped Ruki down to the ground, making sure that she didn't baby Ruki at the same time. Once on the floor, Ruki adjusted her jacket collar, and put on her blue shades- with the leaf still on her forehead. Renamon noticed this and carefully peeled it off, saying nothing at all. Ruki said nothing in return, and the two left.

Several minutes later, the duo still didn't encounter any Digimon. They covered the nearby mall, restaurant, and school, but nothing. The two walked by the beach, still searching for an opponent.

"Unbelievable. No one challenged us at all today," Ruki said sadly. "Maybe they realized that we are unbeatable."

"Maybe, maybe not," Renamon responded.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it means, nothing more."

"Don't get high and mighty with me!"

"Whose high and mighty?"

Ruki went to continue the debate when she saw a gray mist lingering around the beach. She smiled triumphantly and cocked her head toward Renamon. "Get ready, Renamon."

Renamon changed into a fighting stance, waiting for the opponent and the next command from Ruki, waiting for the battle to begin.

A small gremlin stepped out of the mist. An unruly stock of graying black hair adorned its head, obscuring its eyes. A large, bulbous brown nose stuck out unceremoniously above a salt-and-pepper handlebar mustache, which seemed too large for its small face. Clad in a pristine lab coat, black shoes and pants, the digimon was something to behold. Ruki held out here D – Arc to scan for its profile, but nothing turned up.

"No profile? I've never seen this digimon before, so it's a strong possibility that it's a new digimon," Ruki said to herself. She shrugged nonchalantly and then smiled confidently. "Whatever, this battle is still mine. Renamon!" Ruki commanded. 

Renamon ran toward the mysterious digimon, covering the distance between them quickly. The gremlin Digimon did nothing to defend itself, except keep its hand inside the pockets of its lab coat. Renamon pulled back her fist to deliver a blow to the skull, when the digimon suddenly reacted. In one smooth movement, the digimon pulled a test tube out of its pocket and pulled off the stopper. The momentum of the action caused the liquid inside the tube to spill out. The concoction turned gaseous and clouded around Renamon, stopping her in her assault. She began to cough sporadically, the clouds still surrounding her. Seeming satisfied with the results, the digimon ran off.

"Hey! Come back here! This battle isn't finished yet!" Ruki yelled at the digimon. She started to chase, but stopped when she saw the plumes of sand being kicked up in his direction. She turned to Renamon, who was still coughing. "Renamon, are you injured?" Ruki asked, with no emotion in her voice.

The cloud surrounding Renamon slowly dispersed, allowing Renamon to breathe properly again. She coughed once to clear her throat, and then replied, "I am well as I can be, Ruki."

"Good, we should go after that digimon. Who knows what he might have done," Ruki said, and started to run in the direction of the unknown digimon. Renamon started to follow, but stopped when she noticed something weird about her appearance.

"What are these dots doing here?" she asked herself. Ruki overheard her question and ran back to her digimon partner.

"What dots?"

"These dots," Renamon answered, pointing toward the fur on her chest. True to her word, several small, red dots covered most of her fur. "This is great. My lovely fur has been ruined, and it takes so long to get it just right…"

Ruki said nothing, taking the time to readjust her shades. "Come on, maybe that digimon knows what happened to you." Renamon reluctantly nodded and the two ran off in the direction off the anonymous digimon.

Leaving the beach area, the two continued to run, searching for the digimon. In the middle of their search, the gray mist surrounded them again.

"Stop Renamon. Might as well get something out of this," Ruki said. Renamon followed the command and slowed down. An Apemon leapt out of the mist, wielding his large bone. Dashing toward Renamon, the Apemon swung the bone club wildly. Renamon sidestepped the wild swing and slammed a roundhouse kick into Apemon's stomach, sending him into the air. She then leapt above Apemon and kicked him back to the earth, creating a small crater from the impact. She landed gracefully onto the floor, barely causing any dust to rise. The dazed Apemon slowly rose from the crater and tried to stop making the yellow birdies from flying around his head.

Suddenly, a random voice shouted, "Finish Him!" from out of nowhere. Renamon sauntered over to Apemon, and the scene suddenly darkened. A scary, gothic piano intro played, while Renamon stood in front of Apemon. She then took a straw out, causing Apemon to give a bloodcurdling scream and attempt to run away. It was too late for him, however. As Renamon began to suck in the air through the straw, Apemon slowly turned into data pixels, to be sucked up be Renamon. Renamon made a fighting stance, and above her "Renamon Wins" flashed in white. Underneath that, the word FATALITY was written in blood.

Ruki slowly massaged the bridge of her nose. "Must you always do that?" she asked.

"Do what?" Renamon questioned, completely unaware of what she just did.

"Forget it," Ruki said. "Let's go."

*********************

"It's simple. Takato. Takato. Get it," Takato told his digimon, Gillmon.

"Yeah, Takatomon!" Gillmon shouted. 

Emitting a long sigh, Takato grabbed his digimon by his shoulders. "It's Takato, T-A-K-A-T-O."

"Takatomon, T-A-K-A-T-O-M-O-N," Gillmon said.

Takato face vaulted into the soft grass of the park. Takato decided that since Gillmon was a digimon, he needed plenty of exercise and fresh air, and the park had plenty of both. Takato noticed his partner's long face, and gave him a reassuring hug. "Hey, don't worry about it. Even if you can't remember my name, you're still my partner."

"Thanks Takato."

"Hey, you just said it!"

"Said what, Takatomon?"

"Forget it," Takato sighed. He rubbed his partner's head, and Gillmon smiled.

"What a touching scene, I just might cry… not!" Ruki yelled. Renamon and Ruki entered the park area, still in the search for the unknown digimon, when they stumbled unto both Takato and Gillmon. "Are you ready for a battle Tamer?"

"Will you quit it with this battle stuff? I mean, who are you to decide that we can use Digimon as fighting tools?" Takato yelled. Gillmon stood in front of Takato in a protective way.

"I am a Tamer, that is all I need. Now, will you battle me, or will you run like the coward you are?" Ruki asked

"I am not a coward! Man, someone watches way too much Pokémon!" Takato angrily responded.

"Pokémon? Listen, that has nothing to do with this!" Ruki answered irately.

"Let's see… I bet you like Gary, don't you?" Takato taunted.

"He does have nice hair…" Ruki mumbled absentmindedly. She then noticed who was around her, and blushed violently. "That's enough babble. Renamon, get ready!" Ruki yelled. Taking out her D-Arc and Speed Plug in card, Ruki took a deep breath. "Speed Plug in, Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd Slllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" 

Renamon dashed forward, her speed increased by the card slash performed by Ruki.

"Gillmon, even though Ruki wants to fight, I don't. So when Renamon comes, try to stop her as softly as possible, okay?" Takato said to Gillmon. Gillmon nodded his consent, and braced for the blur of fur. "I'll help you out," Takato said, taking out a Defense Plug in card and his D-Arc. "Defense Plug in, Card Slash!"

Renamon continued to sprint toward Gillmon, staying right in path to run him over. Gillmon tensed his body for the impact, but stopped when a bizarre odor wafted by his nostrils. He took a deeper sniff, and felt his heart beat increase slightly, his body temperature rising along with it. He glanced at the vulpine digimon running toward him, and felt his tail sway from side to side. He tackled Renamon to the floor suddenly, catching her off-guard. 

"All right Gillmon!" Takato shouted. He then turned toward Ruki. "You know, we really have no reason to do this."

Ruki simply snorted at him, and started to yell commands to Renamon. "Renamon, he set himself up! Destroy him!"

Renamon tried to punch Gillmon in the solar plexus, but Gillmon's hug prevented her from taking any actions. He then gave her a long lick on the side of her face and purred happily.

"Gillmon, what are you doing? Come on, we proved our point, let's go," Takato said. Gillmon didn't listen or respond. He just nuzzled Renamon in the neck, and shouted, "I'm so happy!"

Renamon was the complete opposite of happy. Using her legs, she was able to break Gillmon's hold and flip him high in the air. She wiped the spittle off her face, and looked at it in disgust. Gillmon landed on his legs, and tackled Renamon again. "Renamon, I know you didn't mean that!" He gave Renamon another lick, this time right in the middle of her face. Renamon was extremely angry, looking at the world through a saliva screen. She head butted Gillmon, sending him scrawling into the ground. Ruki motioned toward her direction, and Renamon nodded. She side somersaulted over his body, vaulted off Takato's shoulders, landed on the ground, and sped off with Ruki.

"This is not over Tamer," she spat at Takato, then resumed running with her digimon.

"Whatever. Gillmon, that was one great tactic!" Takato congratulated his partner. Gillmon, on the other hand, was not happy.

"Renamon? Where are you?" Gillmon yelled. His nose picked up her scent, and Gillmon bounded after her. "Renamon, we shall soon be reunited!"

Takato sighed, and chased his digimon partner. "I just hope this doesn't end up with me having to get him neutered…" 

********************

Terriermon and Lee lazily stared at the clouds, eating marshmallows and sipping on soda. They already had the best spot for lazy cloud watching, the audience stands of the track and field section of a high school. 

"Hey Lee, can I have another marshmallow?" Terriermon asked. 

Lee looked at his partner through his green shades, and smiled. "I don't know. I think you had enough. Besides, you look like a marshmallow with green stripes all ready!"

"Hey, that wasn't nice Lee! You know I'm concerned about my size as it is!" Terriermon said huffily, crossing his little arms across his chest.

"Buddy, it was a joke. Here, catch!" Lee shouted, pulling a marshmallow out of a bag and tossing it high in the air. Terriermon flew into the air and gobbled the marshmallow in midair. "Hey, you cheated," Lee said coolly.

"I did not! You said catch, and I did!"

"No, I meant catch like this," Lee explained. He tossed another marshmallow into the air, and let it fall into his mouth.

"I see… can I try it?" Terriermon asked eagerly.

"You know," Lee said, pulling another marshmallow out of the bag, "I think this is a ploy to get more marshmallows."

"Is not!" Terriermon debated.

"Tamer!" Ruki shouted, interrupting the conversation quite rudely. Renamon and Ruki placed themselves before the stands where Lee and Terriermon were resting.

"Terriermon, please tell me that who just spoke was not who I thought it was," Lee asked his partner already knowing it was her.

"Sorry Lee, but it is her," Terriermon said apologetically.

Lee sighed, and turned his head toward the female fighting duo. He lowered his glasses, and said, "What do you want?"

"That's a stupid question."

"Really? Some people are finicky you know."

" Tamer, stop the talk and begin the battle!"

"Listen, I still don't know why you are obsessed with battling, but I am not."

"What you like to do has nothing with this! Get off your butt Tamer, bring your partner, and battle me!"

"Listen you! You're a Tamer, and I'm a Tamer. Does that register something in your brain?"

"Yes, that we must battle!"

"Yeah, you go do that. Me, I'm going to stay here and drink my soda peacefully," Lee calmly countered, taking a sip of his soda. "See?"

"It seems that you need some prodding. Renamon, attack!" Ruki commanded. 

Renamon nodded, and used her Fox Leaf Arrowhead attack to shot three razor sharp leaves at Lee. Terriermon saw the incoming projectiles, and nudged his partner. Lee also saw the projectiles speeding toward him, and jumped from his spot on the bench. Lee rolled several times on the floor from the impact, ending up with a mouthful of grass. 

"Well, will you fight now, or do I have to show you what happens when she aims properly?" Ruki taunted.

Lee glared at the two, and then looked at his shades. Since they were safe, he placed them in his pocket. "Terriermon, we don't have a choice this time. Try not to go insane this time, okay?" Lee said to Terriermon. Taking his D-Arc from his belt clip, and a Digivice card, Lee shouted, "Digivice Card, Card Slash!"

Terriermon digivolve to… Galgomon!  
  
 Ruki seemed a little shaken at the sight of Galgomon again, but quickly regained her posture. Renamon was already battling Galgomon, and neither off them seemed to have an edge. While Renamon was quicker and was a better fighter, Galgomon was stronger, was naturally equipped with two machine guns, and quite agile for his size. 

  
"Renamon, forget attacking him! Use your speed to kick his butt!" Ruki shouted over the noise of battle.

Renamon nodded her understanding. She let Galgomon charge toward her, and then Renamon flipped over his back and kicked him squarely in the butt. Galgomon stumbled from all the excess speed and landed in the grass, ending up doing what his partner was doing a few minutes ago- eating grass.

"It seems that you're a poor Tamer. You have a champion, and I still beat you!" Ruki taunted. Lee said nothing, he only keep his eyes on the battle.

Galgomon slowly rose to a kneeling position, coughing up the grass he just ate. He wiped his mouth, and turned to face Renamon. His eyes grew distant and hazy as he stared at Renamon. Then, his eyes grew into oversized pink hearts, and his normal heart made loud pitter – patter noises.

"Oh no… not again," Renamon said. She nervously backed away as Galgomon slowly started to advance.

"Renamon! My sweet! Come to me!" Galgomon shouted, scurrying toward Renamon. Renamon leapt over his back, and kick his back. This time, Galgomon was prepared for the technique. He twisted around and grabbed Renamon by her tail. Renamon crashed into the grassy floor, doing what everyone else was doing- ending up with a mouthful of grass.

"I don't believe this! This is the second time today!" Ruki yelled, her shades hanging askew on her face.

"That what happened?" Lee asked, still in shock from what he was seeing.

"That your idiot partners get some abnormal affection for mine!" Ruki screamed.

"What are you talking about?"

"That other loser… Takato. His Gillmon did the same thing."

"Oh."

Renamon was somehow able to escape Galgomon's grip, and ran for her life around the track, followed by a bounding Galgomon, a la Pepe Le Pew. After watching the two chase each other around for a few minutes, Lee decided to try to intervene. He ran of the sidelines, only to fall flat on his face.

"Stupid oversized sneakers…" he muttered to himself, talking about his shoes. He wrenched them off, and started to run after his love crazed Galgomon. Ruki watched the whole scene with some amusement. She had to admit, the whole thing was ludicrous and humorous, but it was taking up her time, time she could be using battling other digimon and Tamers. 

Suddenly, a black and red blur jetted past Ruki, breaking the sound wave at the same time. Seconds later, a panting Takato finally showed up on the scene.

"Gillmon! Wait, don't do anything stupid!" he shouted exhaustedly. He placed his hands on his knees and tried to get his breath back.

"Why did you bring him here? Do you really have to go and insult my partner anymore?" Ruki shouted, clearly unhappy at the appearance of Gillmon.

"I… didn't! He came here by himself! He ran too fast for me to even catch up to him!" Takato shouted back, still panting deeply.

"Hey you! The crazed bunny! Stop chasing my girl!" Gillmon shouted. Renamon and Galgomon stopped at hearing the voice, but Lee didn't. He crashed right into Galgomon and crashed to the floor.

"Did someone get the license plate of that truck?" Lee asked, wobbly from the crash.

"What do you mean, YOUR girl?! She's mine!" Galgomon shouted at Gillmon.

"Are you crazy! She's nuts about me! She can't get enough of me!"

"I should be asking if you're the one who's crazy! Why would she want a runt like you when she could have me?"

"Maybe because she has taste!"

"Well, if I'm correct, she ran away from you, and came to me!"

"She was just running away from you!"

"No, we were having a race, and she was winning!"

"That's a lie! Besides, I already kissed her! Twice! With the tongue!"

Galgomon paled at the comment, then got angry. "That's it! I tried to explain it to you, but you had to say that!" He aimed his machine gun toward Gillmon.

"Oh great," Lee muttered. He produced a mega phone and shouted into it. "Attention all of Tokyo! There is a ballistic bunny with oversized machine guns attached to his arms. I suggest that you head for cover. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true! Don't come crying to me when there's a hole in your ramen bowl and in your car window!"

"Gatling Gun!" Galgomon yelled, having no sense of aim, and not caring either. Everyone near the track hit the dirt as soon as Galgomon started to attack. The shells flew everywhere and hit pretty much everything. Luckily, Gillmon found a chance to tackle Galgomon and stop the shooting. Renamon knew the two would be preoccupied with fighting, and so she took the opportunity to escape. She picked up Ruki, placed her on her shoulder, and ran off.

"What now?" Takato asked, scratching his head in confusion. 

"Maybe we can use something to attract their attention, you know something they really like," Lee suggested.

Takato gave a victorious smile. "I know exactly what to say." He turned toward the two fighting digimon and shouted, "Gillmon! I just saw this ugly, gray cat striding around here; acting like it owns the place! It said that there was nothing that you could about it because you're a coward! Are you going to take that?" Gillmon and Galgomon continued fighting, completely oblivious to what Takato said.

"I guess he is," Lee joked, making Takato blush. "I think I have a way to stop Galgomon at least." He turned toward the two fighting digimon and shouted, "Galgomon! I have your favorite marshmallows right here! The chocolate sprinkles covered, fudge dipped, strawberry filled ones! If you dedigivolve, I'll give you some!" Galgomon lifted his head for a second, but then went on to fight Gillmon.

"At least he acknowledged you," Takato said. Lee shook his head.

"So what? It was just as big a failure as your plan was," Lee said decisively. "With both of those plans out, what can we do now?"

"Whatever it is, it has to be something they really like."

"Something that they can't ignore."

"Something that completely holds their attention."

"Something that could be in the title."

"Hey, you're right!" Takato yelled. The two of them looked all the way up to the top of the story, where the title was.

"It's too high up, I can't read it," Lee said dejectedly.

"Man! Lee, have you been paying attention to the plot of the story?"

"There was a PLOT?!?!"

Suddenly, a giant sign fell out of the sky and landed in front of the two Tamers.

"Look! A giant sign suddenly fell out of the sky and landed in front of the two of us!" Lee astutely noticed. "What does it say?"

"It says, 'Renamon is the thing that you need to get Galgomon's and Gillmon's attention!'" Takato read. "Renamon! Ruki's digimon?"

"I guess so. Do you think it will work?"

"Nope! Let's try something else!"

Another larger sign drops out of the sky and almost squishes Takato for his previous comment, except that he moved backwards just in time.

"Hey, a larger sign dropped out of the sky and almost squished me, but I moved backwards just in time!" Takato ever so intelligently observe.

"It says, 'If Lee and Takato do not hurry up, this author will be forced to place them and Ruki in a NC – 17 fic where they will be doing the following actions-'" Lee started, but stopped when he saw the actions they would be forced to do if they did not hurry up with this story.

"Is that even legal?!" Takato asked, reading the list of actions with wide eyes.

"Forget if it's legal, is it even possible?!" Lee asked, his eyes growing larger and larger as he continued to read the list.

An even larger sign popped out of the ground, and it read, "Yes to both questions!"

Lee and Takato looked at each other, then shouted at the same time, "Hey guys, Renamon left already!"

Galgomon and Gillmon stopped fighting immediately, Galgomon's machine gun hands wrapped around Gillmon's neck, and Gillmon biting on Galgomon's ear and a claw ready to slash him in the face. They both jumped off the floor and started to search for Renamon, letting their strong sense of smell lead them. Finally, Galgomon picked up her scent and ran after her, with Gillmon close behind.

"Now what?" Takato asked, amazed at how fast their digimon stopped fighting and ran to find Renamon.

"I guess we follow them, and see where this ends up," Lee said. Takato nodded, and the both of them ran after their digimon.

*******************

Renamon leapt on top of a parked car. She then leapt into a tree, where she rested in the cooling foliage that was her friends. She peeked out the leaves, looking out for any loved crazed digimon. She saw none, but still leapt out of the tree and continued to run. Ruki was still on her shoulder, and was not enjoying the ride at all.

"Renamon, why are you still running? Those idiots are miles away!" Ruki shouted.

"I can hear them, and they are closer then they seem. They're hiding well, so I refuse to take any chances," Renamon responded.

Ruki scowled, and looked all around her. No one was out, and those digimon were probably still fighting each other. _She's getting paranoid, though I don't blame her. Love is something I have no use for. It makes you weak and blundering. _Ruki stole a quick look at Renamon, who looked slightly fearful from the whole situation. "Renamon, stop running."

Renamon ignored Ruki and continued to run. She leapt over a garbage can and turned a corner.

"Renamon, do not ignore me. Stop running and put me down," Ruki commanded.

Renamon ignored her again, swerving to dodge a gang of kids on bikes.

"Digimon! As your Tamer, I demand that you cease your running and put me down!" Ruki shouted.

At first, Renamon kept on running, but then slowed down and eventually stopped. She hoisted Ruki off her shoulder, placing her gently on her feet.

"Renamon, it's obvious that those two bumbling fools aren't anywhere near us, but if it helps to calm down your paranoia, keep on going. I, unfortunately, have to get back home before my mother starts worrying. Just make sure you get home on time." Ruki then left Renamon to her own devices.

*******************

            Renamon finally stopped her running. One, because she was tired, and two, she was ashamed of herself. Imagine it, running away from digimon that were too incapacitated by their emotions to put up a worthy fight! _Although, _she mused, _they were acting weird, even for themselves. I wonder what set off their sudden interest in me. _So deep in her musing, she did not notice a gray fog settling around her. When she felt its cold touch on her heels, she yelped in surprise, and ran off in the opposite direction. Not now! She couldn't confront any rogue digimon without Ruki's help! She then noticed the fog was surrounding her, cutting off any way for her to escape. As the gray fog crept slowly toward her, Renamon slowly accepted her fate. She cracked her knuckles and stretched her neck muscles.

Today was a good damn day to go out fighting.

That is it for this chapter. I am cleaning up the chapters previously written chapters so that they make more sense, and look cleaner for the enjoyment of the readers. In addition, as an added bonus, they give me the practice I need for writing fan fiction all over again. Review please. 


	2. 

Renamon: The Doctormon of Love 

Chapter 2

King Weregarurumon

Author Notes: Just another revision. Like before, read to catch up on the story, or to enjoy a story that may be very new (and hopefully enjoyable) to you. 

            Renamon walked out into the clouded field, not knowing what to expect. The bench and previous surroundings were gone, enveloped by the fog. Unlike the cold and nondescript fog of the digital world, this fog was warm, and tinted with several hues. Most of it drifted to the floor, and some hung in the air. "Guess I'm not in Kansas anymore," Renamon said her previous paranoia disappearing. 

"You came from Kansas? I always wanted to go there," a voice said. Renamon turned around quickly to see who had spoken out of the nothingness. A yellow reptile - like dog was the only being she saw. Wearing a white coat with blue stripes, complete with scarlet claws at the end, the digimon simply smiled kindly. "I heard that's where Dorothy lives."

_A Gabumon. I haven't seen one of those in a while. _"The statement wasn't meant to be taken literally," Renamon said. The digimon blushed and nervously rubbed the golden horn atop his head. Renamon looked at him for a moment, and then crossed her arms across her chest. "Are you a guy or girl?" she bluntly asked.

The digimon blushed even more. "We just met. I don't think it's appropriate for us to start dating yet…" Gabumon trailed off.

"You're definitely a guy," Renamon concluded. She turned her back on him, and thought aloud to herself. "Is he under the affect of the potion, or does he genuinely admire me?"

"I don't know. Hey Gabumon, do you think she looks nice?" Another voice asked. Gabumon's face turned its reddest yet. Renamon turned around to see a tall blonde male standing next to the Gabumon's.

"Come on Matt! Don't embarrass me like that!" Gabumon exclaimed. The human named Matt laughed aloud, his blond hair bouncing against his neck.

Renamon looked at the two in puzzlement, and then placed herself into a fighting stance. "You! Matt! Are you a Tamer?" she asked.

Matt looked at Gabumon, who looked at Matt. Matt looked back at Renamon and said, "Tamer? What's a Tamer?" he asked.

"A Tamer is a human who is paired up with a digimon. You have a Gabumon, so that makes you a Tamer." Renamon explained

"Nope. I have no idea what a Tamer is. Maybe Tai and the others know some Tamers," Matt said. He put his fingers to his mouth, and whistled loudly. "Hey guys! Come here for a second!"

Suddenly 11 other kids and digimon appeared out of nowhere. The first one was a tall, brown haired teen. Next to him was an Agumon. Next was an orange haired girl, and a Biyomon flew over her head. A blue haired fellow appeared next, holding a Gommamon in his hands. A short, brown, bowl – haired young boy walked in, carrying a kendo stick in his hands. An Armadillomon sauntered with him, munching noisily on a piece of sushi. A trio of girls came up next. The shortest was a dark brunette wearing pink and white spandex, a Gatomon resting on her shoulders. The next was another brunette, but her hair was a lighter shade. She chatted with a Palmon, who wore a ring of flowers around her head. The tallest of the three had the most unique hair color of all; purple. Her digimon was a Hawkmon, who floated a few inches above her hair. A red head was next, and in his hand was a yellow Pineapple computer. A Tentomon walked next to him, its emotions unknown due to how it was drawn. A trio of boys led the rear of the group. All three of them were play boxing, none of them winning or losing. One of them was wearing an angler hat. A Patamon tried its best to stay on his head, and often had to flap its gigantic ears in order to keep his balance. Another one wore goggles on his dark red spiky hair, the goggles fogging up from the amount of sweat. A Veemon watched the battle excitedly. The last was the tallest of the three. His indigo hair stuck to his forehead, and his purple eyes twinkled with merriment. His partner, who was a Wormmon, looked on the battle cautiously, grimacing when his partner caught a blow.

"Hey, let me introduce you to all of them first." Matt said to Renamon. "The one with a mountain of hair on his head is Tai." 

"Funny Matt. That's Tai the Invincible to you!" Tai exclaimed, flexing his muscles. Agumon sweat dropped as he watched his partner.

The orange haired girl pushed Tai slightly. Caught off guard, Tai dropped to the floor. "Whatever Tai. I'm Sora, and Biyomon's my partner," Sora said.

"I'm Joe. Nice to meet you. Oh, and this is Gommamon," Joe said.

"I'm TK and this is Patamon."

"Yolei and Hawkmon's our names, don't wear them out."

"Yolei, that's a really tired line. Mimi at your service." Palmon glared at Mimi before she realized her mistake. "Oh, and this is Palmon."

"Kari and Gatomon."

"Izzy, superhuman genius of the Digidestined with Tentomon."

"Ken, the true genius of the group with the greatest bug digimon of all time, Wormmon." Wormmon blushed at the compliment.

"Cody, kendo master with Armadillomon."

"I shouldn't have to introduce myself and Veemon. I bet wherever you came from knows all about me…" Veemon tugged on Davis' flame jacket, "and Veemon of course."

Renamon looked at the dozen, then looked at the goggle headed boy. "Nope, I don't know any of you. Especially you goggle boy."

The dark red head face vaulted into the clouds. Veemon helped him up, sweat dropping all the while. "Well, in that case, the name is Davis, but you can call me Davis." Davis said.

"I think I will," Renamon said. "So, all of you are Tamers?" 

"Yeah, that's the question I wanted to ask. New kids, ever met any Tamers?" Matt asked.

The whole group shook their heads. Izzy went into his thinking mode and paced the area. He then said, "Well, is there anything unique about these Tamers? A uniform, a digimon type, possibly a fan club?"

"Of all the Tamers I met, they all have this little device with them at all times," Renamon answered. "Something like the one in your pocket, but different."

"Is it like this?" Ken asked. He pulled his D – 3 out of his pocket, the interior being completely black, and the edges white.

"It looks similar to that," Renamon said. "I guess you guys aren't Tamers."

"What are Tamers anyway? I know the name seems pretty obvious, but what do Tamers do exactly?" Cody asked. "I know that Digidestined have to protect both the digital and normal world, so maybe Tamers have a similar purpose."

"Digidestined?" Renamon asked. "What are those?" The group then went into the LONG tale of the Digidestined, with great embellishments by certain characters. 

"I see. I'm not sure what Tamers are for, but my Tamer goes out and defeats digimon," Renamon explained.

"Oh great! Another person with the Black WarGreymon syndrome!" Davis cried. 

"Who's Black WarGreymon?" Renamon asked.

"Psycho mega digimon. Went all over the place, defeating digimon and looking for his purpose in life. Wore a black thong, and had a nice sculpted butt," Yolei explained. All of the digimon and Digidestined's eyes went to straight to Yolei. Yolei flushed a little, and then shouted, "Are you telling me none of you noticed?"

"Yeah, I do have a nice butt! How come no one noticed before?" Agumon exclaimed. Gabumon looked at his friend as if he was a nutcase.

"Agumon, Yolei was talking about BLACK WarGreymon, not WarGreymon," Gabumon explained.

"Black WarGreymon this, Black WarGreymon that! I'm tired of him!" Agumon exclaimed angrily. "Give me that Tai!" Agumon shouted, yanking Tai's digivice from his belt. He then produced a bottle containing a blue liquid. The bottle read, "QingLongmon's Digicore Juice! Need that extra boost to digivolve to your highest level? Come and get some!" Popping off the top, Agumon gulped the whole bottle noisily. 

Agumon warp – digivolved to… WarGreymon!  
  
  


"See! My butt is just as good as Black WarGreymon!" WarGreymon exclaimed. The Digidestined closed their eyes, while Palmon, Biyomon, and Gatomon got a very close up view. Renamon stared for a while, but blushed and turned her back to WarGreymon. Suddenly, WarGreymon dedigivolved to Agumon for unknown reasons. A very mad Agumon looked at the bottle of, "QingLongmon's Digicore Juice," and read the fine print.

"Won't work if the digital world's defenses are weakened?!" Agumon exclaimed.

"Is it done?" Tai asked, his eyes still closed very tightly.

"Yeah," Palmon said dejectedly, putting away a bottle of rubbing oil.

Kari slowly opened her eyes. Since WarGreymon was gone, she opened her eyes completely. She then noticed that her camera was gone. "Hey, where's my camera?" Kari asked, her digital camera gone from its usual location around her neck.

"Camera? What camera?" Gatomon in turn asked, hiding the camera behind her back. She passed it to Biyomon, who passed it to Palmon, who tossed it into Mimi's open bag. 

"Well, with that done, tell us anything that might help us understand what's going on," Joe asked. Renamon nodded, and went into her history.

"What confuses me is how you guys got into my reality. If our worlds are two separate, but parallel universes, why were you able to come into my world?" Renamon asked.

"Plot holes," TK said simply. "Those are some bad mothers."

"Yep, we were all just walking, and then we all fall through this gigantic plot hole. Not as if we never fell through one before," Ken said.

"Yeah, remember when Willis 'created' Diablomon?" Sora jokingly added.

"No, it's 'Wallace', not Willis. And it's not Diablomon, it's Diaboramon!" Izzy smirked. "Wallace doesn't even exist! Those idiot dubbers always make me talk about him!"

"How about when they merged three separate movies into one? Man, that was just stupid!" Gatomon replied.

"Let's not forget dubbers! They give me such nightmares sometimes!" Mimi said.

"Yeah, dubbers are scary! How about when they dubbed all of the digimon deaths?"

"Or the catfight between Angewomon and LadyDevimon?"

"What about all the 'relationships' on the show?"

"Yeah, and what about them making me a complete idiot?" Davis said. Complete silence followed, and a couple tumbleweeds passed by.

"Uh, Davis? Hate to burst your bubble, but in both versions, you are an idiot," Yolei said.

"Shut up Yolei!"

"Anyway, you seem to be having some problem," Matt added. "Can you tell us about it?"

"How did you know that I had a problem?" Renamon asked. 

"The author of this fantastic fanfic just handed some information to me," Matt said, winking very obviously. Suddenly, a pile of money appeared under him. He examined the cash and frowned. "Hmmm… the twenties aren't as crisp as usual and it seems a little low. Guess I have to start appealing to the female writers again…"

"Well, I do have this problem. All of these male digimon keep following me around, and I was never interested in them. They're under the influence of this weird potion, and they aren't taking no for an answer," Renamon explained.

"I see. So you want to get rid of these guys, turn into a human, and get it own with your partner?" Tai said coolly.

"Ye- no!" Renamon shouted. "Why would I want to get it on with my partner?"

"It would make so many male fans happy, therefore increasing your ratings threefold," Tai explained simply.

"Whatever. Anyway, this weird little gremlin digimon splashed some weird red liquid on me."

"Huh. Never heard of him. And," Izzy started, "neither has my digimon analyzer. Perhaps I need to update it to version 7.0…"

            "Well, maybe we don't need to know exactly who the digimon to solve the problem," Ken said. The other Digidestined looked at Ken in astonishment. "I believe the capabilities of our digivices and D-3s should be enough the counter the effects of the enigmatic concoction." The other Digidestined nodded their heads in agreement, some more uncertainly than others did.

            "OR," Izzy suddenly interjected, rudely cutting off Ken, "we can use the new program I just downloaded from Gennai." He carefully placed his laptop on the floor, while whispering to Ken, "That'll teach you to try and steal my thunder!"

            "Izzy, you know that was totally uncalled for!" Ken debated. "Just because I was elucidating a more efficient means of dealing with the quandary of our newly made acquaintance, that doesn't mean you can allow your covetousness to physically manifest into assaulting me!" Ken smugly tossed back a lock of his indigo hair. "Although I must admit, your jealousy is understood and pitied. I mean, not only a Bishónen, but I'm extremely intelligent, skilled in the martial arts, and-"

            "You'll marry Yolei in approximately 25 years," Izzy countered.

            "Touché." 

             "Hey!"

            "I mean, of course I'm glad to be marrying Yolei in approximately 25 years! There's nothing more I would want! In fact, I only wish it was sooner!" Ken said, trying to save himself with a pathetic cover. Of course, Yolei saw right through it and chased Ken all throughout the area.

"Anyway, this program allows us to erase any anomalies created by a digimon. Davis, may I borrow your D-3?" Izzy asked. Davis obediently handed it over and Izzy interfaced it with his laptop, allowing him to download the program into the D-3. Handing it back to Davis, Izzy explained, "It will take a while to take effect, but all the people who you encounter will forget the whole incident. Oh yes, I would close my eyes if I were you; the light is quite bright."

            "Wait, hold on!" shouted Davis. He and the rest of the Digidestined slipped on black shades, yes the digimon also. Even Yolei, who currently had Ken in the Walls of Jericho, slipped on the shades. Davis pressed some random button on his D-3, and Renamon was blinded by an intense white light. 

"Well, until we find a way out of here, you'll have some good old fashioned 'girl time' with us girls! Come on!" Mimi exclaimed, dragging Renamon by the arms. Renamon tried to fight back, but when Mimi gets into 'Girl Time', it's impossible to even try. Renamon soon found this out as Mimi easily dragged a struggling Renamon. "You'll love it! We'll get some attention to those electric blue eyes of yours with some makeup, give you a manicure with pedicure, and fix up that lovely fur by your neck!"

At that comment, Renamon stopped struggling. She looked Mimi square in the eye and said, "Can you really do that?"

"Sure! I experienced the worst of bad hair days! I think I can handle some wild hair!" Mimi proudly exclaimed. "It'll be nothing! In fact, I think I can give you a new look!"

"I have been wanting to do something with this fur," Renamon replied, puffing up the fur. "But, I've been so busy. You know, killing digimon, stealing their data, etc, etc."

Mimi put up a finger (Not the middle…) and waved it admonishingly. "That is a big no-no. No fighting, it always cause stress and weakens the roots of the hair."

"I guess you're right. You do seem to know a lot about hair care and such."

"Honey, I could write a book about it!" 

***************

Ruki woke up, her face drenched with sweat. Her breathing came out in short, hurried breaths. She wiped her forehead with her arm, and her breathing slowed down. "What a weird dream. Why would I dream about Renamon getting a makeover AND enjoying it?" she thought aloud. She laid her head back on her pillow, lazily looking at her plain ceiling of her room. Her head plopped to the side, and she looked at her clock. _6:00. She's in trouble, I already know. She's never late._

"Ruki, honey?" a voice asked. It sounded dulcet and quiet, but Ruki covered her ears with her pillows. "Ruki, are you in there?" the voice asked again, starting to fill with worry. Ruki removed the pillow from her head angrily, and gritted her teeth.

"Yes mom. I'm inside here."

"Oh good, I wanted to say goodbye before I left. I'm leaving for that modeling gig for the Tokyo Video Game Fair (something like that)."

"Okay."

"I'll be coming back late, around 11:00. You okay with that?"

"Yeah, the dark never scared me before and it won't start now."

"Well, okay. I'll see you later. Are you sure that you'll be okay with that?" 

"Yeah, go have a ball. Blow up some aliens, solve a puzzle, and go do what models do when they're bored. I'll be okay."

There was a painful silence. Ruki heard several short clicks pass by her room, meaning that her mother left. Suddenly, the clicks came back.

"Almost forgot," Ruki's mom said. Her hand popped in, holding a small remote in her hand. She pressed the button, and her hand disappeared from sight. "Ms. Riana keeps complaining about her poor cat. I wish you would leave that poor thing alone…" A web of lasers covered the window, making it impossible to open the window.

Ruki waited until she heard her mother's car leave the driveway. She walked up to her window and smiled. _How do they expect this to keep me inside? _She thought. Unwrapping a stick of gum, Ruki used the aluminum wrapper to disrupt the flow of lasers. "Too easy," Ruki said, smiling as she climbed down the side of her house.

After giving Ms. Riana's cat a through torturing, Ruki took the bus. Why? She didn't know. Where? She didn't know where either. She knew that she was looking for Renamon, but she could be anywhere. Something told her to take the bus, and since she had no idea where to go in the first place, she did it. Ruki felt the bus stop, slightly jarring her thoughts. She stood up and left the bus. Adjusting her jeans, Ruki set off to find Renamon.

Ruki crossed the corner. She had no idea where Renamon was, and walking wasn't helping. She spotted a vending machine, sporting sodas. She pulled some cash out of her pockets, and finding the right amount, went to the machines.

_Coca – Cola always hits the spot for some reason, _Ruki thought to himself. She gulped the last of her soda, and wiped her mouth. She peered at the water-beaded can for a moment, and happened to see a very interesting picture in the reflection. Two men, dressed in black suits seemed to be creeping toward her in a very peculiar manner. Ruki turned around quickly, trying to catch the men in their act. Unfortunately, the men were ready, both of them freezing on the second. A dark grin opened on Ruki's face.

She turned around, allowing the men to creep up on her. She emptied the can, and tried to crush it against her head. "I really need to stop doing that," Ruki said as she rubbed her forehead. She tossed the can into the recycling bin and bent to tie her shoes. Using the reflection from a puddle, she watched the duo walk closer and closer. She calmly stood up and brushed her shirt off. She waited until the pair almost grabbed her to turn around, stopping them right in their tracks.

"Whoa, these are some ugly statues," Ruki said. She walked up to the both of them, glancing at the both of them. "They look pretty realistic." Grabbing their noses, she wrenched their faces all over the place until they turned red. "Feels pretty fake. No one's face is that greasy." Ruki wiped her hands on the suits of the men. She then ruffled their hair, and gave them noogies. "At least they really paid attention to the details. They even included dandruff." She then left the pair standing like a pair of fools.

She walked down the block, stopping to pretend she was looking at her watch. The two men ran after her, angry at their humiliation. Ruki waited until they nearly had their hands on her neck, then turned around. The two men once again stopped in the middle of their movements. Ruki peered at the two curiously. "What are you ugly things doing here again?" she asked aloud. Picking up a conveniently placed can of paint, she looked at the men. "You guys need a repaint. I think," she paused, looking at the can. "Pink is the your best color!"

After painting the guys pink all over, Ruki continued to look at the two doubtingly. "You guys are still hideous. Maybe I should beat it out of you." Picking up another conveniently placed metal bat, Ruki beat the silly crap out of the two. After beating them black, blue, and several other colors, Ruki finally stopped her onslaught. "Man, it's too hard to do this. You guys are way too ugly." She then noticed a pair of scissors, again conveniently placed near her. "Maybe a haircut is in order…"

Ruki dropped the scissors to the floor to view her masterpieces. She gave one of the men a Mohawk while the other received spikes. "Nope, you guys are still ugly. I guess there is nothing to be done," Ruki said dejectedly. She turned and left the two. As soon as they saw her leave, they both collapsed to the floor.

**********************

An hour later, Ruki still was looking for Renamon. The daylight was rapidly disappearing, and Ruki was rapidly getting tired. She lifted her strained eyes and looked across the park she was in. "Renamon, where are you?" she shouted, her voice hoarse from all of her yelling. Suddenly, two pairs of hands clamped unto her shoulders. She twisted around to face her captors, and gasped in surprise.

"Gasp! Agent Jay and Kay?!" Ruki, well, gasped. Yes, the two men did bear a certain resemblance to the famous MIB agents, but there were subtle differences. Ruki studied their faces more intently then realized their identity.

"Hey, you're those two statues I saw earlier! How did you ever come to life?" Ruki asked innocently, having a hard time concealing grin. One of the men shook his Mohawk, and then started to speak.

"You knew exactly what you were doing, you little imp!" he shouted. "Now, come with us."

"Okay," was the surprising response from Ruki. The two men themselves seemed surprised, but their faces turned into grins. "Wait. I can't go with you unless you can touch your toes," Ruki said. The two men looked at each other, then simply shrugged. They both tried to touch their toes, but failed. "Can't do it, huh?" she asked. The guy with spikes nodded, his forehead drenched with sweat. "Oh okay. Let me help you out!" Ruki shouted. She elbowed the two in the lower regions, and then ran away. They both doubled over simultaneously, falling to their knees. The man with the Mohawk looked up as he fell to his knees. His right arm stretched out and grabbed a surprised Ruki in the middle of her jog.

"What the…!" she shouted as her body was pulled back to the pair. "No one could do that!" she shouted disbelievingly.

Suddenly, the two men transformed into Bakemon, their row of teeth smiling unappealingly. Before Ruki could react, the two grabbed her roughly and dragged her to her knees.

"Hey, what's the whole point of this!?" Ruki shouted angrily. 

"You're too stupid to understand, so I won't even try to explain it to you," a dark figure stated. Ruki looked up, seeing a dark figure in front of her. 

"Who are you shorty?" Ruki taunted.

"My size is unimportant!" the dark figure shouted.

"That's for sure…" Ruki murmured under her breath.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing. Who are you anyway?"

"Well, I guess it won't matter if I do reveal my identity to you. I am…"

           I did not do it last time, and I am not doing it now. You could always read the next chapter to find out if your curiosity is killing you. Of course, after you review this chapter.


	3. A New Mon... in Love

Renamon: The Doctormon of Love!

The Third Chapter

King Weregarurumon

Author Notes: Same deal as last time: nothing extraordinarily new concerning the plot, except for some revisions. Oh yeah, I believe I did not insert a disclaimer to ward off bloodthirsty lawyers and attorneys. Digimon is owned by Saban…or was it Fox Kids? No, no, no it's Disney for sure! Oh wait, it's really owned by Toei…I think. 

Lee, Galgomon, Guilmon and Takato plodded through the park, all four of their heads casted downward. They didn't seem to have any particular direction, for they constantly changed directions. Soon enough, they start to walk around in one large circle.

"Hey, did any of you notice we are walking in one large circle?" Lee asked. The four of them stopped immediately and looked at the worn path they walked into the earth.

"Why were we walking in the first place?" Takato asked. Lee shrugged his shoulders in response.

"To find my true my love!" Guilmon suddenly shouted. Galgomon slapped Guilmon roughly on the back of the head, causing him to crash to the floor.

"Renamon is my love! Get it straight or else!" Galgomon shouted angrily, shaking his machine gun paw at Guilmon. Guilmon shook his dazed head, and then savagely tackled Galgomon.

"That's where you're wrong!" Guilmon bellowed. Galgomon swiped him off with a single paw, and then rose to his feet.

"No, that's where YOU'RE wrong dino boy!"

"No, you're the wrong one Mr. Bunny!"

"I'm not a rabbit for the last time!"

"Your ears tell me otherwise!"

Galgomon's face and ears turned red, bright red. "I… am… not… a… rabbit!" He shouted. Both of his large ears and his machine gun paws wrapped around Guilmon's neck, choking his little body mercilessly.

Lee and Takato immediately rushed to their respective partners, desperate to separate them. They both tried their best, using anything, but nothing worked. Lee stopped struggling suddenly, a light bulb lighting up above his head.

"Why is a light bulb lighting up above your head? I thought that was something used in American cartoons only," Takato said, still struggling.

"So I have a fetish for Looney Tunes. So sue me," Lee casually replied. "Anyway, I think I have a good idea on how to stop these two."

"Gee, you think?" Takato snapped, stuck in between an angry Galgomon and choking Guilmon.

"Galgomon!" Lee suddenly shouted. Galgomon turned his head, his paws and ears still wrapped around Guilmon, and Takato still stuck between the two. "If you stop, I'll buy you some new clothes!"

Galgomon's eyes sparkled with the brightness of ten million stars. "You really mean it?" he questioningly exclaimed. Lee shook his head enthusiastically. Galgomon immediately dropped Guilmon and hopped around happily, setting off mini earthquakes with each landing. "New clothes, new clothes, new clothes!"

"New clothes?" Takato asked, fixing his crumpled clothes. Guilmon rubbed his sore throat, occasionally coughing and taking in deep breaths of air.

"He has been bugging me about it for a while, because he's really into clothes and stuff. He won't believe how much fashion sense this guy has. He picks out my mother's clothes for her," Lee said, a slight grin on his face. "He once saw this guy with mismatching socks, and well… let's just say that it'll take a while to find all the pieces." Takato stared at Lee, then looked at Galgomon with pure terror in his eyes. "Relax Takato, I was just kidding."

"Oh," Takato murmured. He fixed his goggles upon his head, making sure that they didn't obscure his view. "Well, with that done, who's paying the bill?" 

* * * * * * * * 

Several hours, yen, and stores later, the quartet stopped in its shopping. Galgomon, after many hours of thinking, picked some clothes he felt best suited his taste. He first picked up some new black sneakers, leather jacket, baggy dark silver jeans, and shades for that ever so cool look. Then he picked up a lime suit, complete with white shoes and a lime hat, with a pink feather. The Tamers thought the torture was done, but that was far from the truth. 

Not to be outdone by his adversary for Renamon's heart, Guilmon bugged Takato for his own suit. At first, Takato refused at first, but finally gave in after seeing Guilmon smashing mailboxes in a tantrum. After torturing several customers and salespersons, Guilmon finally made his choice.

            Gillmon, in my opinion, picked an exquisite 3-piece suit, complete with a black jacket and pants, with a gray vest. To complete the ensemble, he chose a black top hat and a monocle, which he really didn't need.

"Well, there goes my paycheck from work," Takato said, a fly slowly flying its way out of his empty wallet. His glance shifted to Guilmon, who admired himself in a nearby mirror. "At least they aren't fighting anymore."

"I know what you mean," Lee said. He placed his empty wallet in his pocket, turning toward Takato. "What are we going to do now?"

"I guess we should find Ruki and Renamon. I mean, it's the right thing to do, wouldn't it?"

Lee looked at Takato queerly. "How would you know that?"

            Takato pulled a thick book out of his pocket. "I managed to snatch the script from the author when he wasn't looking! Look!" Takato flipped a couple of pages and pointed at a couple of paragraphs. 

            Lee looked at the paragraphs and said, "Hey! That's the previous scene!!"  

            Takato smiled happily. "Yep! And look at this!" Takato flipped a couple of pages forward and pointed at the beginning of a new scene. "Take a quick read."

            Lee read the first few paragraphs quietly. "He doesn't sell sherbet? What kind of ice cream vendors is Japan training nowadays?" He perused the script further on until he spied a certain line that didn't seem right. "Hey Takato? Read this line right here. It doesn't right."

            "Let's see…'Suddenly, the pilfered script spontaneously combusted in the hands of Lee. The flames didn't harm Lee, but instead leapt upon Takato's hair, causing him to run in circles, crying bloody murder.'" Some time passed, and nothing happened to the script, Takato, or Lee. Takato shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess not everything in here is accurate."

            Suddenly, the pilfered script spontaneously combusted in the hands of Lee. The flames didn't harm Lee, but instead leapt upon Takato's hair, causing him to run in circles, crying bloody murder. Lee stared at the screaming Takato, at a lack of nothing what to do. A slip of paper floated into his view, and quickly grabbing it, read it just as fast. He shrugged his shoulders at what was written on the paper and threw it away. He then picked a small bag of sand conveniently placed near him and smashed it on Takato's head, effectively putting out the flames. Of course, the same action nearly knocked out Takato.

            "What was that all about?!" Takato yelled, a large lump rivaling the size of Rockna's after the Rockna vs. Holyfield fight growing on his head.

            "A piece of paper told me to do it." Lee explained coolly. The suspect piece of paper suddenly exploded, scaring both Takato and Lee.

* * * * * * * *

"What should I give to Renamon?" Galgomon wondered to himself. He looked inside his pockets, and found no money. His eyes looked all over the place, until he saw the perfect present. He first snuck up carefully to the window of a first floor apartment, to not warrant any unwanted suspicion. Then, when he was convinced that the coast was clear, he snatched up the window flower box, laughing like a maniac. Guilmon first heard his maniacal laugh and saw Galgomon charging down the street.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Guilmon shouted, fixing his top hat on the top of his head.

"*I* am going to get Renamon, and there's nothing you can do about it! So there!" Galgomon shouted. With that, he stuck out his tongue and pulled down his lower eyelid.

Guilmon, not to be outdone by a gun toting, flower box - stealing thief, started his search for a gift. He then dashed inside of the pet store, knowing exactly what he would get. Minutes later, he dashed back out… with a tank full of exotic fish in his hands.

"Hey! Come back here, you… thing!" the owner shouted. He picked up his broom and chased after Guilmon, swiping at the air wildly. Guilmon managed to stay ahead of the store - owner, despite the weight he was carrying.

"Guilmon!" Takato shouted. "You can't do that! You're stealing!"

Guilmon stopped, and then stooped suddenly, causing the still running owner to flip over his back and collide into the nearest wall. Guilmon simply shrugged his shoulders as he set the tank down on the floor. He then emptied the contents of the container into to his top hat, and continued to run to look for Renamon. Lee and Takato looked at the whole thing with wide, surprised eyes. 

"Lee? Can you make a promise?" Takato asked, still dazed by what he had just seen.

"Yeah. What is it?" Lee responded, stunned by what he just saw.

"When this is all over, let's get some new digimon. Ones that aren't insane."

"You took the words out of my mouth." 

* * * * * * * * 

"Hold still girl!" a Bakemon demanded. Ruki sneered, and spat in the face of her capturer. The Bakemon wiped the slobber off his pale face with his long arm. "Hey, can we just eat her? She's a little scrawny, but with a little garlic, we could have one heck of a meal!" 

"No, you idiot!" the digimon in charge shouted. He slapped both of the Bakemon on the skull.

"But sir, I know an excellent recipe for cooking Tamers!" the other Bakemon added.

"I don't care you dolt!" 

"But, we can skew her, boil her, fry her, fricassee her, smoke her, and BBQ her!" one of the Bakemon started.

"Oh yeah! We could also dice, slice, mince, chop, blend, sauté, puree, and bake her! Or we could even make ice cream out of her!" the other Bakemon finished.

"How about Tamers and Cream?"

"Tamer Parmesan?"

"Glazed Tamer with a hint of cinnamon and ginger?"

"Oh that's a favorite of mine!"

The digimon in charge simple snarled in response, veins popping up all over his forehead. "If you two don't stop swapping recipes, I'll cook the both of you!" was his angry reply. "Now get back to your job of guarding that girl!" The frightened Bakemon nodded their heads and went back to guarding Ruki.

Ruki said nothing; silently undoing the ropes the Bakemon tied her up in. She finally loosened the last knot, and the ropes around her wrists fell off. She massaged her sore wrists, and went to work on the ropes on her feet. The ropes finally fell off, and she massaged her sore ankles. _Now all I need is for this bus to slow down so I can escape!_ She thought to herself. Luckily, the bus the group was upon decided to finally slow down. 

"Bye suckers!" Ruki shouted. She leapt off the bus and dashed away. The two Bakemon looked at Ruki's running form in amazement.

"That's one great sprinting form!"

"Wonder if she can teach me how to sprint like that?"

Once again, the shadowed digimon shouted at his hired help. "Numbskulls! Go after her! I swear, this is the last time I use the Digimon Summoning Service…" The two Bakemon floated off the bus and chased after Ruki.

"Leave me alone! Just go somewhere else!" Ruki complained. She took a sharp left, and quickly scaled a wire fence. The Bakemon also took a sharp left and quickly floated over the wire fence. Ruki looked over her shoulder and cursed silently to herself. _Why won't they just go away!? _She asked herself. She turned up the speed, and sprang over a garbage can, but in her haste, knocked it and herself down. She again cursed, but not silently or to herself. She looked behind her to see two Bakemon coming after her at full speed. Just when the both of them were close enough to grab her… they both tripped over the garbage can that Ruki knocked over. Ruki blinked in amazement, then stood up and ran away. 

The shadowed digimon walked up to the digimon he hired, and whacked them both on the head. "Just watch a girl! How hard can that be?"

"Not hard, not hard at all sir," the Bakemon replied fearfully.

"Then how come she got away?"

"We're incompetent idiots?" 

"Damn straight! Now come on, we got to follow her! To the ******mobile! 

"Don't you mean the back of the bus?"

"…Yeah…" 

* * * * * * * * 

Lee, Takato, Galgomon, and a now fishless Guilmon continued their trek across the town, still searching for Renamon. After returning the fish to an extremely hurt and angry owner, the group decided the best thing to do was to go back to the park, and try and plan something. While Takato and Lee somehow found money and went to buy ice cream for everyone, Guilmon decided to let Galgomon visit his "home" away from home.

"What kind of home is this?! This looks more like a cheap hole than a home!" Galgomon exclaimed. His large frame barely fit inside the hole, and that was when he was bent over.

"This? Oh, this isn't my home. This is something to fool Takato and the other humans. This…" Guilmon started, using the ever - dramatic pause, "is my home." Guilmon carefully dusted off part of the earth, revealing a button. Guilmon pushed the said button, smiling triumphantly. Suddenly, the earth began tremble, just slightly however. The next thing Galgomon knew, the floor opened, swallowed them whole, and they fell. Luckily, the fall was a short one, and the two digimon landed into EZ boy recliner chairs.

"Um… Guilmon? What's going on?" Galgomon asked in a timid, frightened voice.

Guilmon simply responded by reaching in between the chairs, into a cooler. He pulled out two ice cold root beers, and tossed one to Galgomon. "Welcome to the ultimate bachelor pad!" He then pulled out a remote control and turned a 90' inch big screen television, complete with 50' inch woofers and a satellite dish.

"Cool." 

* * * * * * * *

"Okay kids! What do you want?" the ice cream man asked. "We have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, fudge, banana, pineapple, cookies and cream, peaches and cream, peaches, apples, rocky road-"

"You wouldn't happen to have sherbet, would you?" Lee asked.

The ice cream looked at Lee like he was a nutcase. "Listen kid. You can take your freaky flavors somewhere else, like Baskin Robbins or something. I only carry normal flavors."

"Uh… okay. We'll have four cones, one with chocolate, one with vanilla, one with cookies and cream, and one with rocky road," Takato said quickly. He paid the guy and took their cones, dragging a PO'ed Lee with him.

"What kind of guy doesn't carry sherbet!?! He's the freak, not me…" Lee muttered to himself. 

"Hey, real freak, that guy," Takato said quickly. He handed the vanilla and rocky road cone to Lee. "Here's your cone."

"Takato? Are you okay? You're acting weird, more than usual," Lee said, licking his vanilla cone.

"I know. I have this weird feeling of impending doom, like the end of the world is coming, know what I mean? I wonder what it could mean."

"Well, I have the same feeling whenever my sister wants to play house, and forces me to be the baby."

"Takato? Is that you?" a voice suddenly asked. Takato froze in his spot, goose bumps running up and down his spine.

"Lee, please tell me it isn't her. Just please tell me that."

"Okay, I won't. But your girlfriend's coming."

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Hi Takato! Hi Lee! How's it going?" Juri asked. She walked up to the two and smiled. "Today's a nice day, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. Hey Lee, take this cone and give it to my friend Guile okay?" Takato asked, giving the cone to Lee and pushing him out of the way.

"Who's Guile? I never met him before," Juri said. "Does he go to our school?" 

"Uh no! He's… uh, my pen pal! Yeah! My pen pal from… uh, Czechoslovakia!" Takato lied. Juri gave him a weird stare, which caused Takato to sweat nervously and blink rapidly.

"Okay, I guess. I was looking for you all over the place! Where were you all day?"

"Oh, I was showing Guile all over town you know, since he's never been here."

"That's a nice thing to do Takato. That's what I like about you!"

"Oh… I'm glad. Hey, uh, do you want a cone?"

"No, I'm not in a mood. Anyway, your mom said that we can relax on Monday because she's closing early."

"Why's that?"

"Something about a doctor's appointment."

"Oh, I see."

"Well, see you later Takato. Hope you get a chance to introduce me to Guile."

"Who?"

"Your pen pal? From Czechoslovakia?"

"Oh yeah! Him! That Guile! Well, I'll try to. Bye Juri."

Juri started to leave, but then turned around angrily. "Takato! I can't believe you!"

Takato jumped back in surprise. "What? What did I do?"

"Now you don't know what you did wrong? I really though better of you!" 

Now Takato was really getting scared. He wasn't used to seeing Juri angry, and now it was scaring the hell out of him! "Could you please tell me what I did wrong?"

"You forgot to say goodbye to my Mrs. Hanky!" Juri yelled, pulling out our favorite sock puppet. She began to thrust it full in Takato's face. "You hurt her feelings!"

Takato sweat dropped. "I'm sorry Mrs. Hanky," Takato said, slightly scared. He gave at the sock puppet a slight, polite bow. "I'm sorry that I forgot to say goodbye to you." He looked at Juri. "Is that good enough?"

Juri looked at her sock puppet, who looked at her. She moved it close to her ear, and made it talk. She nodded her head and moved it back to her side. "Mrs. Hanky says that was good, but not enough. She's says you have to kiss her!"

Takato sweat dropped again, with 20% more sweat drops. "A-are you sure that she said that?" he asked nervously.

Juri nodded her head furiously. "I'm sure! She says that's the only way she'll be sure that you're sorry!"

Takato paled considerably. He took a big gulp, and sighed loudly. "Okay. I'll… kiss… Mrs. Hanky," He conceded. He moved forward and gave the sock puppet a small peck on the head. Juri and her sock puppet gave Takato a look of disgust.

"Takato! My grandmother gives better kisses, and she's 10 times older than you! Give Mrs. Hanky a real kiss!" Juri commanded, thrusting the puppet in Takato's face. Takato paled again and hanged his head in defeat. 

"I'll try again… to give… Mrs. Hanky… a better… kiss." Takato looked around, to make sure no one he knew was around. Then, Juri practically shoved the puppet down Takato's throat, pretending that the two of them were kissing passionately. Takato practically choked to death, what with an orange sock being shoved down his poor little throat. Several minutes, Mrs. Hanky decided enough was enough, and stopped the kiss, allowing Takato to appreciate oxygen again.

"Mrs. Hanky says that's enough. See you tomorrow Takato!" Juri cheerfully told Takato, and left the scene. Takato simply laid on the floor, trying to get back his breath. Lee enters the scene with a sly grin on his face.

"Takato you dog! Never knew you had it in you!" he said playfully elbowing Takato in the ribs. "I thought you weren't going to let Juri breath for a while!"

Takato was about to tell Lee what really happened, but decided not to. Why should Lee know what really happened? Then again, why should he think that he was kissing Juri?

"What's with the blushing face Takato?" Lee taunted.

"Shut up Zenyra," Takato responded.

"Geez, touchy. I was just kidding. C'mon, let's get back to our digimon." 

* * * * * * * * 

"You know, I never would thought that we could become the best of friends," Galgomon said, his speech heavily slurred. He picked up his umpteenth bottle of root beer and guzzled it down. "You know, you hitting on my girl and all."

Guilmon, his eyes red from all the root beer, hiccupped. "Yeah. I always thought that pink elephant over there would be my friend, but he's a bum!" Guilmon tossed his half empty bottle at where he thought a pink elephant was, where it actually hit a wall. "See? He wouldn't even take my bottle! He's not a good friend!"

"Know what? Let's make up a pact that nothing will ever separate our friendship! Nothing at all!" Guilmon bellowed. He tried to stand up from his chair, but slumped back down in a drunken stupor.

"Not even Renamon?"

"No! Not even Renamon!"

All of a sudden, an alarm starting blaring in Guilmon's house. Guilmon walked to a computer built inside the wall, and pressed a series of buttons. On the screen, a picture of Takato and Lee popped up.

"Hey Galgomon! C'mon! We have to go!" Guilmon shouted. "Takatomon and Lee are outside!" The two of them staggered to a hidden elevator, which carried back to them to the top floor, which is the home that everyone else sees. 

"Hey Galgomon! Guilmon! We got you guys ice cream cones!" Takato shouted cheerfully as he gave the digimon. They both cheered and ate the cones in one bite, resulting in immediate brain freezing. 

"Hey Lee, I just noticed something. Galgomon's been Galgomon since the beginning of this story! Shouldn't he have dedigivolved already?" Takato said.

"Hey, you're right! Galgomon, you know what time it is!" Lee shouted.

"Time to eat?" Galgomon asked hopefully.

"No! Time to train and burn off that excess energy!" Lee yelled. Taking out his CD played and a couple CDs, he began to search for the perfect song to train to. "Let's see… Melodies of Life, You're Not Alone, Mystery Sword, The Dark Messenger, Brave Heart, The Biggest Dreamer, Bokura no Digital World, Beat Hit!… ah-ha! I've found it! The perfect song to train to!" Lee put the CD in his CD player and pressed play.

Mon, Mon, Digimon

Digi, Mon, Mon

Mon, Mon, Digimon

Digi, Mon, Mon

"Lee, I hate this song!" Galgomon exclaimed.

"But I like it! So be quiet and start training!" Lee responded, placing headphones on himself and Galgomon. Both Lee and Galgomon then sprang into their calisthenics, in tune with the music. 

While Galgomon and Lee grooved to the digi tunes, Guilmon and Takato had bigger problems on their hands… and paws.

"Ruki! Are you alright?" a concerned Takato asked. It seems that Ruki had just entered the scene, and wasn't looking all that great. "What happened?"

Still out of breath, Ruki was only able to make out a few words. "They're… coming… trying… to…"

"Trying what? Trying to do what?" Takato yelled.

"Trying to make all of you miserable, you goggle headed dip!" the shadowed digimon shouted, hiding in the shadows of the trees, where he stayed hidden. The two Bakemon floated down from the trees. Before Takato and Guilmon could react, the Bakemon used their Dark Claw attack to attack them. They then grabbed Ruki and forced her to her knees. Just when everything seemed to be going downhill, a shadow flashed over the bodies of the Bakemon and Ruki. The Bakemon looked upwards in surprise, only to have their faces smashed in by the feet of…

"Renamon!" Ruki exclaimed. Renamon landed gracefully, the bodies of the Bakemon collapsing to the floor, releasing their grip on Ruki. Ruki got to her feet and glared at her digimon. "Why didn't you get home quicker?" she asked, or rather yelled. Renamon, her hands akimbo, simply said she was busy. Ruki, furious at the answer, was ready to fire back, but noticed something different about her partner digimon.

"Hey Renamon, there's something different about you," Ruki astutely noticed. "Like, you went through a change or something." Renamon gave herself a quick look over and shook her head. "No, really, something's different about you," Ruki insisted, walking closer to her digimon. She looked at Renamon's hands and gasped loudly. "Your hands!"

Renamon gazed at her hand briefly. "What about my hands?"

"You got a manicure!" Ruki yelled, pointing at the well – filed nails on Renamon's hands. Renamon blushed slightly and turned her head to the side. "And your feet! A pedicure! Renamon, how could you?" Ruki practically screamed. She glowered at her partner's face and gave another horrific gasp. "You're using mascara?! How could you do this to me Renamon? You're supposed to be a fighting machine of death! Not some… some… Barbie girl!" Ruki sputtered out, her anger getting the better of her. "Where did all of this happen?!"

"Hey Renamon!" Terriermon interjected. Flapping his gigantic ears, he circled close by Renamon's head. He sniffed in deeply as he sped by her face and said, "Hey! Did you know you smell like strawberries?" Renamon, slightly miffed with what Ruki had just told her, swatted him aside lightly, and started to walk away. As soon as she turned, a pair of arms wrapped around her leg.

"Renamon! Where ya been?" Guilmon asked. Renamon lifted up her leg and gave it a fierce shake, and after twenty minutes, Guilmon finally plopped off.

"Ahem," a voice politely coughed. The heads of all three Tamers and their digimon turned toward the voice, which came from the trees. Our mystery digimon stood on a limb ever so politely, waiting for complete silence. "Since when did we forget about me!?" he asked at the top of his voice.

"Who's that?" Takato asked.

"Beats me," Lee replied. 

"I don't know either. It's some digimon that tried to kidnap me earlier!" Ruki yelled. Renamon glared at the digimon.

The shadowed digimon simply scoffed in response. "Yeah I did! But now I have bigger plans!" He leapt down from the limb, expecting his loyal shadow to follow him. Unfortunately for him, it didn't. It just stayed there on the limb. "Damn! This is the last time I steal something from Acme!" he shouted. 

Guilmon and Terriermon at the unknown digimon. His body was a dark purple, except for his face, which was white. His green eyes flashed with mischievous impishness as he adjusted the red gloves on his hands. He smoothed out his long, rabbit like ears, and adjusted the red bandana around his neck, which was just above a tattooed picture of a smiley face. At first, Guilmon and Terriermon said nothing, completely speechless. Then the both of them laughed out loud, unable to conceal it inside.

"Terriermon! He… he… he has a smiley face!" Guilmon laughed, pounding the floor with his claw. He rolled around the floor, almost choking in his mirth. Soon, everyone was laughing at our poor mysterious digimon, well, except for Ruki and Renamon.

"You're the last ones who should laugh at me, you stupid pets!" the digimon spat vehemently. This immediately made everyone shut up. "At least I'm not led around like a dog with a leash!" He defiantly stared at the group, staring at each individual slowly. "You should all be ashamed of…" He stopped, his gaze falling on Renamon. A circle of large, pink hearts ringed around his face as his frown changed into a goofy grin.

"My lady," he said, rushing by Renamon's side. He looked up to Renamon, who completely towered over him. "My very tall lady, may I have the honor of knowing your name?" He picked up her paw in his hand, and softly kissed it. Renamon looked at him in disgust and slapped him on the head. 

"Hey buddy, stay away from our girl!" Guilmon shouted. Terriermon and Guilmon leapt in front of Renamon, completely blocking her from view. "If you want to see her, you have get past us!" Terriermon continued.

The digimon chuckled. "No problem with that." He raised his index finger in the air and called out, "Night of Fire!" A reddish orb formed at his fingertip and started to grow. He then tossed it toward a confused Guilmon and Terriermon. The attack exploded in front of their faces, rendering them both knocked out. 

"I'm sorry my lady, but that was something that I needed to handle. Now, let us start this introduction properly. I am the great, the mighty, the one and only Impmon." He gave a little bow. "Now, my beautiful lady, may I know your name?"

Renamon pushed Impmon roughly, causing him to crash to the floor. "No, you may not know my name, and no, you may not kiss me on the hand. Got it?" 

Impmon looked up at her slightly hurt, then busted out another grin. "Playing hard to get I see. No matter, I have the perfect solution for that!" He snapped his fingers, and out of the sky, another set of Bakemon appeared. They snatched up Ruki from the air, and hauled her up to where they were. Renamon looked to where her partner was, and then glowered at Impmon, slitting her eyes with anger.

"Bring her down now!" she shouted. She grabbed Impmon by the collar and shook him violently. "If you value your life at all, you'll bring her down!"

Impmon grinned again. "You're a feisty one, aren't you? Just how I like them! I could let her down, just like you asked." He glanced at Bakemon and gave them a nod. Both of the Bakemon released their grip on Ruki, letting her plummet toward the earth. Ruki gave an ear – splitting scream and closed her eyes in fear. Just as she was about to collide with the earth, her fall stopped. The gangly, repulsive arms of the Bakemon grabbed her legs and pulled her back in the air where they were.

"Of course I let her down, but it'd cause such a big mess. You wouldn't want that, would you?" Impmon laughed again. "Then again…"

"Then again what?" Renamon spat. She gave Impmon a rougher shake. "What? What?!"

"Then again, I could let her go, in a way that wouldn't cause such a problem. I could only do that, if you decide to go with me," he said evilly.

"Renamon! Don't listen to him! He's just trying to mess with your head!" Ruki shouted. "Don't listen to him at all!"

Impmon sneered at Ruki, then gave one of the Bakemon a nod. The Bakemon released his grip on one of Ruki's leg, leaving her to hang on one leg.

"Now, if he happened to lose his grip, I wonder what would happen? Of course, we don't have to worry about that, if you decide to leave with me."

Renamon looked at Ruki, who still hanged precariously in the hand of the Bakemon. She then looked at Impmon, who still had an evil grin on his face. She hanged her head, and slowly nodded yes.

"Renamon, what are you doing!? I told to you not to listen to him!" Ruki shouted. "He's full of crap!"

Impmon turned back to Ruki, and gave her another ugly sneer. "Who are you to decide what she does? She has her own thoughts, and doesn't need you messing with her thoughts!"

"Hey, shut up! You think you're so big, but you're nothing! You need other digimon to do your dirty work for you!" Ruki countered.

"I might say the same for you!" Impmon responded. "Now," he said sweetly, extending his arm to Renamon, "let's go." Renamon shook her head.

"Not yet. Keep your promise, and let her down."

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot to let her down," He snapped his finger, and the Bakemon floated silently to the floor, and plopped Ruki down. "I am a mon of my word."

"Digimon! As your Tamer, I command you to stop!" Ruki shouted. She struggled against the pair of Bakemon in her path. "Digimon! Do not ignore me!"

Renamon stopped in her walk and turned toward Ruki. "You know my name. Use it well," she muttered. She put her arm in Impmon's and continued walking.

"Renamon! Renamon, don't go with him! Believe me, he's nothing but trouble! Renamon!" Finally, hoarse from her yelling, eyes watering, and head pounding, Ruki whispered:

"Renamon."

            Huh. I wonder what made you guys think I was going to stop at this? Never that my readers!! A chapter or two I plan to get out before this finishes. Oh well. A new chapter will be coming out no time soon. Sorry to disappoint you guys (and girls…and animals…and creatures…oh you get the picture). This'll hold you over for some time hopefully. 


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